awful

I know blogging about bad days gets boring, ramble ramble, nag nag.

but seriously. today was AWFUL.

I wake up to my dad sending me a text message saying "english teacher says u have to be at school early for poem."  he sends this at seven. SEVEN.

so i'm half asleep and running around the house crying and being delusional. and then ma takes me to school and i realize i have nothing to eat. nothing. no lunch, no breakfast. and she was sick and had to work all day so there goes any eating chances.

so I get to school, work on my poem for 45 minutes because i messed all the citations after number seventy up, and i still don't get done. guess who has to work in RAP and lunch? yeah, me

so i go to classes and i'm ready to throw up because I'm starving. I'm yelling at everyone and ready to bite their heads off for even touching me. I was (am) pissed off.

and I'm trying to be positive. but it doesn't work and i'm MAD. and then comes RAP, english, lunch. i only got ten minutes of lunch. and by then, everyone had eaten so i got nothing. great. and then i'm sitting in biology dreading for them to call us down because I don't wanna go to the game. I was not in the mood for crazed jr high children. no way.

so we're waiting for the bus, and I just loose it. I'm starving, and I've only eaten an apple slice by now. and I'm trying to take deeeeeeeep breaths but it's not working and i start crying. i put my head between my knees so no one noticed. (thank goodness. I'm never crying at school again. but that's a story for another day)

and then we go to the game. it's fine for about ten minutes, then I'm ready to kill everyone who talks to me. except Jessie, who is being a wonderful good samaritan and is just sitting calmy by me not talking or touching me, but keeping me company. That was just what i needed. I'm thankful for her today. and everyday.

and then, Kate pushes me down jokingly and i loose it. I start bawling like a little child on the playground. And my dear Jessica drags me outside and just lets me bawl. We walked around the school for a little while, and then my wonderful mom came to pick me up early, because while i was loosing it, i texted her. and while we're in the car I just cry and cry. and we get home and it's all happy.

but then comes YW. it's all hunky dory and happy. and sue massages my back and it feels soooo good. and then it's time to go home. Landry and Desi are walking out the door, and I start to follow them. Landry glares at me and Desi tells me she has "problems that she needs to talk about with her"

oh. okay. glad I've been calling you my best friend for seven years. cool

and I'm so mad, I don't even care about names right now. I don't care what they think of me. I need to breathe, but i can't. i can't.

so yeah. awful. and I don't care if i sound whiny. if you think i do, get over it. it's not your blog, its mine.

AND I CAN WRITE ABOUT WHATEVER THE FREAKING HECK I WANT!

so there.