Tuesday, December 25, 2012

let's talk boys.

So, I've gotten a couple or requests to write an entry about boys. (mostly from 12 year old girls. ok. all of the requests were from 12 year old girls) So, here you go. An awkward boy post, featuring me struggling over every word. Because I am a little confused in the boy department. Alright. A lot confused. So please enjoy this humorous struggle to answer the questions of a few little girls. Fasten your seatbelts.

In my fifteen years of life, the only thing I know for sure about males is that they like to injure each other. And sometimes me. I have indeed gotten tackled and punched in the gut. And hit square in the face with a snowball. And hit on the arm. And in the face again with a tether ball. And a couple soccer balls. I think guys forget that I'm not as tough as I make myself sound, and my body is actually fragile. Hence, I get injured. I have a couple of the scars to prove it. 


I've liked exactly five boys in my lifetime. Five boys in fifteen years. Most girls have liked over 30. Okay, 20. Let's just say 25 to meet in the middle. Point is, while all other teenage girls on the planet know how to navigate through the dangerous waters of flirting and relationships, I'm that one kid that still has to use an inner tube when they're in sixth grade. While we're picturing that, just imagine me wearing one of those full body swimsuits with a duck floaty around my stomach. You're welcome for that image.

So I'm not really qualified to post about this. I haven't kissed anyone. Never had a boyfriend. So I'm not really writing this for advice reasons. I'm just writing it to entertain myself, because I'm kind of hilarious.

Okay sorry. I'll try to focus.

So, when my cute friend asked me to write this, I was specifically asked how to tell a boy you "like" him.

Well. I'm not the kind of person to play those tricky mind games that some girls have mastered. I just kinda went up to them and told them I liked them. Put it right there on the table. Most of the time, they just kinda awkwardly skirted away from the subject and didn't talk to me for a couple months after I told them. Don't worry, I'm kind of a cocky person. So I would just shake it off and think "Your loss baby!" (courtesy from the Little Rascals). Because I'm kind of a winner. I can beat any level of Unblock Me, eat a whole box of Bagel Bites in one sitting, I burst into random showtunes, read until the early hours of the morning and I'm addicted to the Internet.

A real catch, I am.

(I also talk like Yoda sometimes)

To end this fun little rambling monologue, I'll post a video from one of my favorite Youtubers, Marissa Lace. She is pretty hilarious and cracks me up. Here you go.


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