Sunday, April 29, 2012


So, for the past few months I've been stuck in a rut. It felt like I was doing the same exact thing every single day. Wake up, same schedule at school with minor differences, home, eat, homework, work out, bed. And not that I'm being ungrateful or anything because I know kids in other situations would kill for a stable and predictable environment like mine was, but I was just sick and tired of if. On Thursday, I came home from school with a massive headache and frustration with everything. It didn't help that when I came home my mom was doing eyelashes and about four thousand people were at my house when I was just starting a breakdown. So I ran to my room and cried for a while. Then I slept. And when I woke up everyone was gone. But it was also around five thirty. I only had an hour and a half until I had to leave for mutual. So I thought, "SCREW MY THREE HOURS OF HOMEWORK." And I cried some more. And I ate some more. And then I walked to mutual. 

It was the South Davis Special Needs mutual play and it was adorable. I laughed and cried and felt the spirit so strongly. It really made me feel better. And when I got home, me and my mama talked and we decided that I've been putting all of the things I have to do as my first priority. So I've made a list of my priorities. Here they are:

1. My religion. Today, in his talk, Bob said that if we put God first, everything else will fall into place. I'm trusting him on this. 

2. School. I really need to get good grades so I can get a scholarship. I need to learn too. And all of my teachers are trying to help me, but with hours and hours of homework in each class, I feel like I'm going to die. This school category includes SBO.

3. My family. This is third on the list because I already have a really good relationship with my family. My immediate and extended. So I'm still saying it's important, but it's not worrying me too much.

4. Organization. To keep up with everything I'm doing, I need to keep clean and organized. This is kind of a problem for me because I never have time to clean or do anything. But I'm trying.

5. Physical health/appearance. I'm not saying I'm not showering until I get all my homework done or something. I'll shower every day, don't worry. But this is like working out and how I look. How I look and feel is important to me. It's not a big priority, but it's still on the list.

6. Friends. This is at the bottom of the list. I know friends are important, but I've been putting them first. I've been putting listening to their problems, spending all my free time with them, and my whole school day into friends. And it's not good for me. I still love my friends and I still love to be with them, but hanging out every friday night is not essential to me anymore. 

And now that I've sorted all these out, I've felt better. I also have lots and lots of things to look forward to now. Like:

getting my braces off on May 23rd!

Jazz Band Trip!

Graduating Jr. High (YESSSS)


The last day of school.


thanks for listening:)

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