Taylor Swift

I know you think that because I love music that no one else knows of, I should hate T. Swift. But, she's actually my guilty pleasure. I've watched her concert video, own a Tshirt and know almost all of her songs. I guess I'm an average teenager in this department. But I just adore her. She's adorable, she's clean, and all of her songs are relatable. I know that a lot of them are about love and boys, but some of them are deep and insightful. I like them. Judge me, or agree. It's just my opinion.

But, because this can be random and because this post is just an update and has no specific topic, I have to say, that feeling these keys tap under my fingers feels wonderful. Spilling out all of the thoughts in my head and seeing them on paper is one of my favorite things in the world. I love writing. Which brings me to the topic that ties these two first paragraphs together.

I have an embarrassing secret. In seventh grade, I started writing songs because of Swift. And they are the most mortifying things on this planet. I discovered the songbook the other day and I was really embarrassed about my writing skills. For example:

I've never felt as good as I feel 

When I'm with you.

I've never dreamed as much as I have

When I'm with you.

And I've never wished so hard to be with you.

To make this even more painful to read, I had dedicated each song to the certain boy that I had a crush on. And before I actually had some sense slapped into my brain after dealing with boys after seventh grade, it was almost every boy that would come up and talk to me. So odds are, if you're a boy and I met you before or during seventh grade, you have a song written about you. I hope that lifts your self esteem.

Speaking of self esteem, mine kind of took a punch over the last couple of days. Some stupid boy told me I wasn't pretty, and even though I'm not basing my life around looks, and I don't care what this particular kid thinks of me, it's like a sliver. I keep picking and picking at it and it's been bugging me. I'm not fishing for compliments, so don't hand them out. I was just saying what was on my mind.

On the brighter side, I've learned that I love to play COD (although I suck) and I have fantastic friends who I  grow to love more and more every day. 

Happy Monday night!